we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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