Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
