who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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