fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
