OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You've changed since you got that strap on
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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