loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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