someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize