Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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