I wanna bring you to show and tell
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
