If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
bring money and cleavage
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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