Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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