Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
