I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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