I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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