We're like a lot better than the average bears
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
