She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
