Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
