i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
