I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
