I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
