a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
