I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
