Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
