Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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