i think i have herpe
just one?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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