I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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