He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your penis caused this!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
