when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
