Are we in a gay sports bar?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
