I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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