She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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