What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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