I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
