it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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