walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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