No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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