god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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