Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
