I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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