Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
