Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
