Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
