dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
id be glad to
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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