with your own penis?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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