You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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