Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
