At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
