Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Shame - the story of my life.
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