Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
