He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
