This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
