Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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