Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
