we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
